brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
