Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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