so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
