I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize