I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
