There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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