I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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