you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
