I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
