did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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