Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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