Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
