whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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