Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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