: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Found the puke drawer
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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