I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
