my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize