so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he was CRYING into my vagina
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i drank out of a bidet.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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