Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
