he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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