There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
