Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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