My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
