he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize