Non-Jews are for practice
he thought i was a dude.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
