I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
