dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
