Me too!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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