this beer tastes like vomit already
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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