worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
