I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
