I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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