he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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