with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
