I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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