just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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