You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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