Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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