Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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