So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
