so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
