just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
