id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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