It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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