it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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