I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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