So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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