i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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