How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i was born a porn star she said
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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