chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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