when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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