Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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