So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
