I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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