He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
