I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize