so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
