Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
