How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
