My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
