scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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