More tranny stories later!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
