i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
